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Why The Ex-Gay Movement
is More Important than Anti-Gay Marriage Activists
First delivered at the UU Church of Brevard on
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Inspiration from my sermons come from many
sources. Books I have read, conversations with members of our congregations,
movies I have seen, heck, even stray thoughts I have had in the shower. Today's
sermon was inspired by a post I read on a website in support of a political
party. It was written by a lesbian in response to fallout from a decision made
by the campaign of a presidential candidate. Considering federal tax regulations
I shall leave it at that. Regardless, she focuses our attention on several
issues with which we should all be familiar. Ignorance is not an excuse.
With prominent political and religious opposition to same sex marriages, we can
almost be excused for not paying attention to the ex-gay movement. However, we
do so at our peril. The Ex-Gay movement is far more dangerous in its message and
its intent. I’d like to emphasize that I am in no way throwing a broad blanket
over Christianity. The agenda of the ex-gay movement consists of what we can
easily consider extremists. It is probably safe to say that someone who espouses
ex-gay views is opposed to same sex marriage, but it doesn’t necessarily
correspond in the reverse. It is entirely possible to be opposed to same gender
marriage while not only disagreeing, but disapproving of the ex-gay movement.
Ex-gay is a term used in professional literature and by some reparative
therapists, religious groups, and others to describe persons who used to be gay
or bisexual, but now identify as heterosexual. When it was introduced to
professional literature in 1980, E.M. Pattison defined ex-gay as someone who had
"experienced a basic change in sexual orientation from exclusive homosexuality
to exclusive heterosexuality." However, since then, the term has been applied to
people, who because of religious motivation, "have changed and also to people
who are in the process of changing their lesbian or gay male identity.”
For some ex-gay groups, merely choosing not to act on one's same-sex desires
counts as a "success." For example, some ex-gays in opposite-sex marriages
acknowledge that their sexual attractions remain primarily homosexual, but seek
to make their marriages work.For some, the mere act of adopting the label
"ex-gay" is seen as a narrative device whereby "individuals use language as the
primary tool to not only express identity but also create and transform it."
Other ex-gays try to distance themselves from the term.
Exodus International, National Association for the Research and Therapy of
Homosexuality, Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays, Love in Action, Courage UK,
Courage International, and True Freedom Trust are some of the organizations and
groups whose objectives include helping people attempt to change or control
their same-sex attraction.
It should be noted that other than Parents and
Friends of Ex-Gays and Gays, no other major ex-gay organization has labeled
themselves as such. Courage International does not consider itself an ex-gay
ministry, but prefers to be thought of as "pro-chastity." Alan Chambers,
president of Exodus International, resents the term and has publically denounced
its usage.
Some ex-gay organizations consider reparative, or conversion, therapy to be a
useful and necessary tool to treat homosexual desire. Many techniques have been
tried, including behavior modification, aversion therapy, psychoanalysis,
prayer, and religious counseling. The medical and scientific consensus is that
reparative therapy is not effective and is potentially harmful. I can tell you
from my encounters with victims of reparative theory it definitely is harmful.
The American Psychiatric Association issued a critical statement backed by
numerous other mainstream medical organizations, which stated: "There is simply
no sufficiently scientifically sound evidence that sexual orientation can be
changed." The statement went on to say that positions espoused by ex-gay
organizations "are not supported by the science" and that they "create an
environment in which prejudice and discrimination can flourish." That’s stating
it a bit mildly in my opinion.
Even when we know what it is, many of us don't understand the actual goals of
the ex-gay movement in part because they may strike us as just utterly bizarre.
I realized this when observing the reaction to a presidential candidate’s
decision to include an ex-gay minister perform at a fundraising gospel tour.
Following this controversy, I observed an unscientific poll asking which is
worse: supporting anti-gay marriage legislation or having an ex-gay speak at a
rally. I saw many people startled to see the LGBT responders felt that allowing
an ex-gay to speak at a rally is as bad or worse than discriminatory
legislation.
The reaction indicates a fundamental lack of
awareness of what LGBT people are facing, have experienced in the past and fear
for their future.
As one lesbian put it, “an 'ex-gay' spokesperson is not just some harmless
buffoon with low self-esteem. The ex-gay movement is not just a group of
misguided Christians who want to help.” I think she succinctly sums up most
people’s views of the ex-gay movement if they know of it at all.
In fact, the movement seeks to undermine the very existence of the LGBT
community. They affirm that sexual orientation is a lifestyle choice and refuse
to even consider scientific evidence to the contrary. Ex-gay groups assert the
scientific community has taken its stances on homosexuality due to political,
and not scientific, considerations. Their goal is to prove that gays, lesbians,
and transgendered people are not just sinful, but in fact demonically possessed.
No, I am not joking or engaging in hyperbole.
Let us remember that extremist Christians don't just have a deep and abiding
faith in God; they also believe in the Other Guy. And just as they are soldiers
for Christ, they believe that there are soldiers for the Other Guy. There are
three groups of people who are Satan’s Five Star Generals: pro-choice doctors,
scientists, and gays. While pro-choice doctors are an example of good-gone-bad
and scientists are an example of the search for knowledge gone egotistic, gays
are the agents of pure and irredeemable corruption.
You can't fight an enemy without actually, you know, fighting. And they are
advancing on the ex-gay front. The Southern Poverty Law Center considers them
part of a larger coalition of hate groups. The 'ex-gay' warriors put LGBT young
adults and teens into conversion centers where they are isolated,
depersonalized, mentally, and sometimes even sexually abused. They are isolated
from their families for months and sometimes years. The ex-gay movement also
targets public school children, giving pamphlets to those they feel might be "at
risk" for "becoming gay." In an environment where LGBT kids are already
subjected to daily beatings, torture, and mocking, the 'ex-gay' movement comes
in to make sure they have no allies. They give the hatred and violence a gentle,
religious, and authoritative face.
The ex-gay movement is composed of the most extreme elements of the anti gay
marriage movement. These aren't just folks who get squeamish at the thought of
two men kissing. These are people who believe that LGBT people are demonically
possessed destroyers, who as Grammy Winner the Rev. Donny McClurkin says, "kill
our children." They have an irrational hatred of gay people, blaming them for
everything from the destruction of the black family to Nazism and serial killing
to the destruction of the Twin Towers. Can any of us forget Falwell’s assertion
in that respect?
In other words, these people believe that gays are responsible for every serious
problem in American and maybe human history. They don't simply want to stop gays
from getting married. Logic would dictate that, since gays are agents of Satan
and the root of all social ill, the ex-gay movement wants to eradicate them
completely. As creepy as this sounds, creepier still is the fact that millions
of people subscribe to the ex-gay tenets. When I began my research I could not
have imagined my shock at some incredibly blunt examples of people who want gays
exterminated.
So what does this have to do with racism? There is overlap in the way our
beliefs can be manipulated. Before the 2004 Election, Karl Rove funded an
anti-gay Black church so they could publish magazine inserts in Sunday
newspapers throughout the black community. The goal was to push just 2-3% of the
black vote to the Republican party by claiming that gays and the Democrats who
support them are destroying and minimizing the legacy of black civil rights. The
notion that LGBT people (read as white) are undermining black history gave the
culture war a particularly horrific new frontier.
We should keep in mind that African-Americans, Asians, Hispanics, and Caucasians
have pretty much identical amounts of gay folks. But if you think about it for a
few moments you begin to realize that our media and popular culture more often
portray LBGT people as predominantly white…and male. This shows that gay folks
are not poor degenerates, but skilled upper-middle class white people. People
just like you and me.
Unfortunately, a disproportionate amount of images of white, wealthy gay men
help them locate gayness as a product of a jaded leisure class who oppress good,
Christian, working-class families. The Gay is 'more attractive' and 'super
affluent' with a life unfettered by children and responsibility. This caricature
is similar to the image of the hyper-masculine black man with an enormous and
terrifying male member. The Black wants to rape your woman! The Gay wants to
rape your hardworking family! It is the fantasy of victimization that oppressors
concoct.
Sadly, there is segregation in the gay community. There are also substantive
cultural and class differences between folks in the LGBT community. One of the
largest gaps is between working class African American gays and the white
professional gays who either try to speak for them or distance themselves from
them or simply have no idea what goes on in their world. One of the main
struggles of African-American gays has been to explain within the Black
community that gay and transgender Blacks are not 'betrayers' who have adopted
or been infected with 'white ways'. This is an issue not just in the US but in
Africa and the West Indies as well. This fantasy of 'super-affluent, white gay
perversion' isn't just a problem in the US. It is getting Black gay rights
activists murdered all over Africa
Unfortunately because of the tension of race relations, I have to wonder if we
don’t fall into the trap of the “soft prejudice of low expectations.” You know,
"gosh golly, they're just ignorant black folk! How are they supposed to
understand a complex thing like gay rights!" When we excuse African American
rightwing Christian bigotry against LGBT people (against mostly black LGBTs)
when we refuse to accept it in white Christians, we are insulting the
intelligence and moral conviction of the black community as a whole. There are a
great many African-Americans who have stood up for gay rights as a civil rights
struggle: Coretta Scott King, Huey P. Newton to name two. African-American
hatred toward gays is not moral and is not good. It should not be any more
acceptable than Falwell and the like.
When religious leaders say that gays are demonic
child killers who must be stopped at all cost, what do you think is the
underlying sentiment of that message? What do you think is the inevitable
result? It shouldn't surprise any of us that such teachings beget horrible
violence against our human brothers and sisters. Because sexual orientation is
not a protected status, murders of gay and lesbians often go underreported. It
is also difficult to question a murder victim about the hatred spewed during an
attack.
I recently learned that almost one-half of homeless children in America identify
as LGBT. Clearly they are not all of one race. Why are these children thrown out
of their homes? Why are they forced to leave? What would motivate a parent to
discard their child? What would make a child so uncomfortable at home that
they'd rather fend for themselves on the streets, starve, or prostitute
themselves than return? The fact that there is huge religious movement in
America that correlates LGBT people with demonic possessed agents of Satan may
have something to do with it.
Having a righteous society is not just about the legislation you pass. It's
about the climate you create. If our political and religious leaders warmly
embrace the LGBT community, parents become less ashamed of their children and
more able to love and care for them. Communities exclude gays far less, the
tragedy of suicide decreases and violence against gays becomes intolerable.
We are called as people of conscience to speak
truth to hate and violence regardless of race, ethnicity, gender and
sexual orientation. We need to say no—a strong resounding NO—to concepts like
the ex-gay movement. Because it truly is as evil as it sounds.
Peace be with you.
Copyright
© 2008
Ann
Fuller, January 2008
• Up • Without Beauty, Life is Beastly • Who We Are • Non-Theist Ministry • Earth Day Vacation • I'm Getting To That Age • Holy Days, Holidays and Obvservances • Grammar and Spirituality • UU Parenting 101 • Where Angels Fear to Tread • What I've Learned From Facebook • Cosmopolitanism, It's Not Just About Being Chic Anymore • Should We Value Equality? • Why I Chose to be Heterosexual • He is Well Paid That is Well Satisfied • The Ex-Gay Movement • 2007 Sermons • 2006 Sermons •
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